limericks. Not for the easily offended

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 20:26:13

There once was a chef on the east coast,
Whose brother had given him a roast.
He cooked it for awhile,
then ate it with a smile,
Until he realized it was a pile of compost.

Post 2 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 20:29:14

There once was a man in a bus station,
His mind on miled melestation.
He attempted to grab,
a luscious young crab,
But only experienced frustration.

Post 3 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 20:31:06

As the elivator left our floor,
Big sue got her tits caught in the door.
She screamed a great deal,
But had they been real,
She would have screamed a great deal more.

Post 4 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 20:34:51

There once was a girl from the south of China,
Who stuck a stick of dynomite in her vagina.
They found half of her ass,
In the state of blue grass,
And the other in South Carolina.

Post 5 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 20:41:16

There once was a man named Dale,
Who tried to shit in a pale.
He tried to start,
But could only fart,
And his attempt ended in a fale.

Post 6 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 21:54:53

well that put a smile on my face if I say so myself.

Post 7 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 22:12:39

the boobie one was the funniest lol

Post 8 by Jess227 on Monday, 02-Aug-2004 23:03:19

All I gotta say is I laughed my ass off! Those were funny!

Post 9 by charisma (Here today, gone tomorrow.) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 12:48:32

My brother's name is Dale, muwahahahahahahahahahaha! I am so going to show him that one!

Post 10 by melodica (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 15:56:57

There once was a man fron Nantucket who got his head stuck in a bucket. But, try as he might, the hold was too tight, and in anger he screamed out "oh, fuck it!"

Post 11 by torian princess (The original Blakanadian.) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 16:07:37

He was a man who was afraid,
to walk through his own home by dark and by day.
The cause of his distress,
were his two mock wives unrest
and his lack of sanity also made him quite frayed.


I loved the boobe one as well!

Post 12 by bermuda-triangulese (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 16:16:58

there once was a man from pernass,
who's nuts were made out of brass.
In thundering weather,
he clacked them together,
and lightning shot out his ass.

There once was a lady from weeling,
depraved of all sexual feeling,
but when came along boris
who licked her clitorus
she had to be scraped off the seeling

Post 13 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 19:04:58

There once was a man named J-squared,
Who had no pubic hair.
Then one day,
He thaught he grabbed a stray
Until he woke up and grabbed nothing but air.

Post 14 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2004 19:08:22

There once was a man named rick,
Who loved sucking his boyfriends dick.
They were on the go,
Rick was having a blow,
Until they went over a speed bump too quick.

Post 15 by Puggle (I love my life!) on Sunday, 15-Aug-2004 7:28:05

There once was a hooker named Sue, Who filled her crack up with glue. She said with a grin, if they pay to get in, then they'll pay to get out again too.

Post 16 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Tuesday, 17-Aug-2004 2:11:22

There once was a lady named sherry, Who was in love with this guy named garry. They had sex every night, much to her delight, until gerry met his new boyfriend berry.

Post 17 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Tuesday, 17-Aug-2004 2:15:23

There once was a man named nate, who thaught sex with his girl was great. Then he had to give it a rest, and he became all depressed, because his girl would no longer inflate.

Post 18 by renegade rocker (I just keep on posting!) on Thursday, 19-Aug-2004 13:21:08

There was a young man from Kent, who's member was so long that it bent. To stay out of trouble, he put it in double, so instead of coming, he went.

Post 19 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Thursday, 19-Aug-2004 16:49:15

There was a man named Mike, how found that his wife was a dike. He really did wish, she'd eat a little more fish, until he found his mom was who she liked.

Post 20 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Friday, 30-Dec-2005 19:41:11

there was a man from stambule
who salilaquized thus to his tool
it took all his health
and stole all his wealth
and now you can't pee you old fool
lol their great

Post 21 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Friday, 30-Dec-2005 21:38:53

There was a young policeman from near clapham junction.


who had a penis that just wouldn't function.


So for the rest of his life,


He mislead his wife,


With intellegent use of his truntion.

Post 22 by Tecsic (Account disabled) on Saturday, 31-Dec-2005 15:08:58

There was a man,
His name was Dan,
His finger got stuck in the door of the van,
So he tried pulling,
But it wouldn't budge,
So he started having a grudge.